Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Going away

Her teddy bears share her bed. (And that is useful, especially now that it is the hospital bed, because they are cushioning against the bars.)

Weeks ago she said "I feel like I'm in Never-Never land.

Some of what she is saying must come out of the past. I wish I could hear the story behind "She outsmarted him".

One can guess about "He ate my candy." How long ago.

Some of it may come from the day the Hospice volunteer was reading Newsweek to her. "Help Dubai. Help me speak Dubai." (me - I don't speak Dubai). Very clearly: "Fake it."

Some is enigmatic. She called me in to give her a drink of water, and when I tried to leave the sippy cup that my brothers had brought, in the bed with her, saying she could have water when she wanted it, she said "I don't want it when I want it". Then very clearly, "Lake Pontchartrain". Was she thinking of flooding?

Some of it is so sad. "He said I was cheating on him. I didn't even know what the word meant. Please, I never meant to cheat anybody."

And I don't have a clue what "Stop, stop, stop the little blue men" was about, but I imagine them marching across the footboard.

Today she said "I googled & googled & googled".

And some is about the teddy bears. "We have to keep all the teddy bears warm." (I think one of my brothers came up with that to keep her from pushing off all the covers.)

And "Two teddy bears should be enough."

And "I need my teddy bear. I've got to hold my teddy bear."

And one day last week when the Hospice volunteer was here, I was called in: "Mina, she took my bear!" (me-your favorite bear is right here) "Show me all the bears." repeat several times

And "Please, please, put my teddy bear on the wall." (Where all her pictures are?)

And Monday "The teddy bears need a nap. Mama needs a nap."

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At 2/26/2010 10:08 AM, Blogger Mary E. Trimble said...

Mina -- Your blog is beautifully written and displayed. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and the thoughts of your mother, Juanita. What a dear friend she was--fun and funny, so intelligent and willing to share her vast knowledge with others. We were so fortunate to have Juanita in our critique group. I've shared your blog URL with the critique group.


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